I always had a vision when I got pregnant for the first time what my child(ren)'s grandparents would be like .... I had a vision of my folks being completely in your face, can't get rid of, wonderful, all wise, all teaching grandparents .... I had a vision of my husband's parents being, involved but at arm's length, busy with their own routines.
BOY was I wrong! Let's just say the opposite for each applies. But as my parents were out tonight (for their monthly/6 week visit), I did notice they do make an effort in their visit, and perhaps quality vs. quantity does apply. As much as I resent the other things in their lives that take their attention away from my kids, perhaps I should lower my expectations and accept what we get.
On the other hand I completely celebrate and am thankful for my inlaws and especially my mother in law, who has dropped everything at the drop of a hat to sit for the kids on the many times I have called upon her, has lovingly had an ear for me, and really, been just amazing to me and the kids all round.
Bottom line, my kids have 4 grandparents, 3 more than I had, and for better or worse they are what they are, and I should learn to accept and be grateful for the contributions (how little or great) they bring to my children, because my kids can't tell time, and for now don't 'get' what I see. To them, they're just Grandma Lynne and Grandpa George, and Grandma Rhea and Grandpa Buzz, and their memories will be their own, and I can't control everything, and I am learning to accept that .... good or bad! :)
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I completely understand. My sister in law and her 4 children live in the same town as my in laws and they spend a few days a week minimum together. They babysit for my sister in law on a regular basis, they stop by for visits just because, they coach their soccer team...
ReplyDeleteWhen they do come visit us, which is rare, you can almost set a timer to the length of their stay. Rarely are they here for more than 10 minutes. "Just passing through".
I often find myself resentful about the lack of time that they spend wtih my kids in comparison to my nieces and nephew. And it only perpetuates the problem when I ask them to babysit (on the rare occasion that I ask) and they hum and haw before finally agreeing.
Its frustrating but I try to convince myself that when we go visit them, at least my kids are getting quality visits. I hope.
Sorry for the mini blog post. I can't post this on mine becasue they read it! Haha
I love that you are blogging now!
Thanks! It is really frustrating as my step mom spends copious amounts of time and money on her daughter's kids and none on mine, but what can you do? Can't change it and I am trying to be the bigger person and not punish my kids for it.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog too! :) And feel free to vent about them on mine anytime! You can be a guest blogger, if there is such a thing!
Great post, Beth! It's a common issue for many parents, and you've captured it very well. I love your positive attitude. Keep on writing!
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